Idolatry In Womens Ministry…


“Idolizing a minister doesn’t make the SIN of idolatry any less of a sin…”
Social media makes it ridiculously easy to idolize people and their lives. We often look at the lives of others or should I say the POSTS of others, and begin to idolize their IMAGE. The world does this with celebrities and unfortunately, many of us Christian women do this with other women in ministry whom we may admire.. So instead of WANTING the God that she serves, you want the LIFE God gave her. You want the image and you view Christ as a vehicle to help you attain it.. We begin to idolize THEM and their gift and not the Lord. We start to want to be like “them” instead of wanting to be like “Christ”. We’ve become hardcore followers of a PEOPLE instead of hardcore DISCIPLES of Christ.

If our relationship with the Lord is soley dependent on the quotes of a Christian leader and NOT the word of God, that’s an issue… If we know more of their quotes MORE than we know actual scripture, that’s an even bigger issue. Yes God uses teachers, leaders, ministers to edify the body of Christ.. But the main substance of your edification SHOULD NOT be their Instagram page, it needs to be the holy spirit, prayer and the word of God. It needs to be you and Him. As much as they may be being used by God, their words are NOT the gospel and neither is their opinion. 
Our first question shouldn’t be “what would so and so say or do?!”.. Our first question needs to be “Lord what are YOU saying? What does your WORD say? Lead me to the scripture that you want me to read”

Teach Me

I guess you can say, I “preach” a lot on Social media. I do use it as a platform to speak whatever the Lord lays on my heart but I NEVER ever want people to hold onto MY words more than THE WORD. Yes that minister may have blessed you and helped you in your walk, but they ain’t die for your sins. They are not Jesus and let us not dare worship them as such. They are HUMAN just like you and the same spirit dwelling in and teaching them is the same spirit dwelling in and ready to TEACH you. 

“But you have received the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you, so you don’t need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what he teaches is true–it is not a lie. So just as he has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ.- 1John 2:27”

…And if you are a leader, please do not let people prop you up on a pedestal and worship you. It is YOUR job to correct them, not feed into it.

I’m reminded of Acts 14, where Paul and Barnabas were together. There was a lame man ( a man who couldn’t walk) whom Paul had directed to “stand up and walk” and he did. The people were amazed and began to worship them, claiming they were gods. They quickly ran into the crowd and yelled (verse 14)’“Friends, why are you doing this? We too are only human, like you. We are bringing you good news,telling you to turn from these worthless things to the living God, who made the heavens and the earth and the sea and everything in them

Paul and Barnabas didn’t smile and say “thank you sis” as people claimed that they we’re GOD. They made it CLEAR that only God is to be worshipped and they were ONLY humans who just served God. This needs to be our heart’s posture ALWAYS.. That we are humble servants of the Lord and His spirit in US is what makes us special. 
Worshippers By Birth

Idolatry is merely misdirected worship. It’s part of our sinful nature. Since the beginning of time, man has sinned against God by worshipping His creation more than the CREATOR (see Romans 1) We love putting things and people on the throne of our hearts. It’s what we have a tendency towards naturally, so it makes sense that we often find ourselves even idolizing ministers in the church. Submission and respect to leadership is biblical, but 1) leaders are there to help lead you towards Christ and not themselves 2) a leader is your LEADER, not your savior.

No matter how holy spirit filled, sanctified, anointed “they” are, they are only human. Keep your eyes and on the Lord. Study the scriptures for YOURSELF and keep God on the throne of your heart, not “them”. ❤️

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The Self Righteous Christian Girl….

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I know I’am not the only one who often looks back at their old Facebook posts and cringe at some of the things I used to post on that thing. You couldn’t of told me that i wasn’t “preaching the truth”. I very well may have been but my “truth telling” was drenched in self-righteousness. It was pride and arrogance cloaked in “just keeping it real”. I thought I was better because I knew bible. I thought I was better because of my decision to wait until marriage. I would of never verbalized it at the time because even I was blinded to my own sin of pride and self-righteousness.

Here is my disclaimer: As believers, we are called to BOLDY preach the truth of Gods word no matter how offensive it may be to some. We are called to preach the gospel, to edify the body of Christ with our gifts,and to sharpen, rebuke and encourage one another. It IS biblical to correct each other as the holy spirit leads us to. (The bible gives us instruction on how to go about this)  But what is NOT biblical, is being self righteous, stuck up and prideful when it comes to our walk with Christ. Often times we feel like because we’ve been saved for (x) amount of years and know more bible verses than another believer, we are now in the forefront of this spiritual competition when there is none. We look down on the baby believer whose fruit still hasn’t fully developed rather than stepping up to the plate and discipling her rather than judging her. We often write people off or deem people as not as “saved” as we are because we read the King James version and they read the NIV. We set up these subtle standards in our hearts that aren’t biblical yet we use them to judge other believers by.

Misplaced Judgement….

The phrase “only God can judge me” is a phrase often used and abused by people who want to do them and not be judged for it. (There is a problem when we as believers use that phrase to justify our sin but that’s another blog for another day) The truth, it is not our place to judge people who never claimed to be a Christian in the first place. 1Corinthians 5:12 – “It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning”…Often we spend more time judging the world than going into it and simply preaching the gospel. We often have our nose up at those who are lost rather than showing them where to be found. Mathew 9:36″When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.”

LOVE

I do believe the word “love” has been perverted not only by the world but even by the church. We’ve take “love” to mean tolerance, passivity and agreement with everything someone says or does. That is not love. We can love people and not agree with their lifestyle. We can love people and still check them BECAUSE we love them. Love speaks truth because love cares more about your soul than it does your feelings but at the same time we can’t forget the very basics of love.

Love is patient and love is kind.

We’ve probably heard this scripture so many times that we fail to really digest and pay attention to what it truly means but I ask you this. Yes you know the word of God back to front. Yes you love the Lord, but do you love people? Are you PATIENT and KIND towards those who may not yet have a certain understanding of things? Do we have the heart of Jesus when we see people who are lost or are we anxious to cast people into hell and write them off because that makes us feel better about ourselves? It should grieve us to see people broken. It should grieve us to see women who feel the need to degrade themselves for useless approval. It should bring us to our knees in prayer and not to our mouths in condemnation and judgement. I say this with love and sincerity: Don’t forget where the Lord brought you from. It is the grace of God and NOTHING but the grace of God that has saved us. It’s not our church attendance. It’s not our social media pages full of Christian quotes. It’s not our purity ring. It’s not our knowledge of theology. It’s not our cute Christian t-shirts. It is the blood of Jesus. You are where you are because of Him. I am where I am because of Him. I pray that God will give us the compassion of Jesus and take away the condemnation of Satan that we often find spewing out of  our lips often disguised as “ministering”. It is Gods will that EVERYONE be saved. Though there will be some who won’t be saved because of their outright choice to deny Jesus whom He sent, let us never forget our first and foremost duty.. to tell the world about who He is.

1 Corinthians 13:1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

 

Love y’all so much! xox

 

“The Lie Behind Chasing Your Destiny”

  
There’s this idea prevelant in the church that you have to “chase your destiny”. Its this idea that your destiny is this mystery that alludes you that you have to go out and grab hold of. Its an idea that your “destiny” is a certain level or title that God wants you to have and when reached, you’ve officially “arrived”…
I believe we’ve gotten distracted by “chasing our destiny”, rather than simply chasing God. Many of us are chasing elaborate titles & visions (some even God given) but failing to be obedient in the basics of every-day life. 

God annointed David when He was just a kid but there was a process & a pruning that took place before He became “King David”. And even with Him becoming the King” that He was, He was still just a small part in the grand scheme of Gods plan. His purpose wasn’t JUST to be a King but it was to point to Christ. 

If God has given you a vision or an idea, He is the one who will bring it to past. OUR job is simply to submit to Him in all of our ways on a DAILY basis. That is it. As you are prayerful and obedient, He will lead you & guide you in all things. He will show you where to go. He will tell you what to do. You don’t have to obsess over chasing your destiny because your destiny isnt even about YOU. We often long for the title as King and Queen & long for the fancy visions, but God has called us to be servants and disciple makers first…

How many of us are begging God to reveal Our “purpose” but since we’ve gotten saved have NEVER made a disciple or lead someone to the Lord? How often do we ignore our basic & most fundamental purpose: to tell people about Christ, all in exchange for chasing our “destiny” & finding our “purpose”.

Maybe God hasn’t given you this grand revelation that you’re gonna lead millions of people as a pastor or that youre gonna be the author of a thousand books.. But maybe God has spoken to you about what we call “the little things”. Maybe he has been speaking to us about simply getting to work on time.. Or about submitting to the authorities Hes placed in our life. Or maybe Hes been speaking to us about being more bold about our faith not just on sundays. Your “purpose” isnt a final destination. It’s a day by day journey with the holy spirit as your guide. Your destiny is to pour out your life for God in hopes that others will be compelled to do the same. My hope is that I get to the end of my life and see that my “destiny” was fulfilled in being a good and faithful servant.. We don’t need another sermon on how to fulfill our selfish dreams but we do need a revelation of what it means to be obedient to the holy spirit as He leads us to the plans and purposes He has, not just for our lives, but for His kingdom. ❤️

1Cor 10:31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God…
Love yall! Xo

Enduring The Pain Of The Process…

Things happen and they hurt.

As you’re reading this, I have no idea what you’re going through or what kind of pain you may be facing. It could be the death of a loved one, a painful divorce, a sick parent or friend, a bad breakup, I don’t know. What I do know, is what pain feels like. What I do know is what it’s like to feel physically sick because of a burdened and heavy heart. What I do know is what it’s like to be unable to keep your eyes dry. What I do know is what it’s like to feel abandoned and alone as the pressures of life are closing in on you…Meanwhle there’s a part of you that wills to keep pushing, while another part of you wills to  close your bible & just give up…

Pain is real and just because we’re Christians doesn’t mean we’re superhuman & are exempt from experiencing it. It’s fake to pretend as though real life tragedies and situations don’t happen that have the potential to shake our faith…

1Peter 4:12-Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed…

Here’s the deal. 

Suffering is inevitable. Suffering is PROMISED. It is to be EXPECTED. Our very own Savior Jesus Christ suffered unfathomable pain but we can take comfort in knowing that He understands. We can take comfort in knowing that we don’t serve a deadbeat God who abandons us in the midst of trials, but we serve a God who walks with us throught it. I don’t have the words to make the pain go away, but I would just like to encourage you to look UP. It’s okay to hurt and to be in pain but trust me when I say that there is healing & comfort in the prescence of God. This season may be tough as heck but just know that  God is pruning you, breaking you & moulding your character in ways that you may not be able to yet see… And yes, it is amazingly uncomfortable but God has not left you.

I beg you to press into the prescence of God like never before. I pray that this season of brokeness will not make us bitter. I pray that we will walk by faith and not feelings and that we will allow prayer to be our anti-depressants in what could be a depressing season. He is with us. Fight to endure the proccess. Cry hard. Pray harder… Just don’t give up.
P.s There’s this song that I’ve been listening to like crazy that’s been helping me see things the way Gods see’s them. It’s a beautiful song by Marvin Sapp called “He Has His Hands on You” take a listen! 

Love yall!

It’s Okay To NOT Be Okay…

 It’s okay to not be okay. There’s this misconception that because you’re saved & now know the Lord, everything is ALWAYS going to be okay, all the time.. There won’t be any pain, any struggle, any tragedy, or any trial. We’re often programmed to present this mask of perfection and so we look around at all of the other “happy” people & feel like we must be doing something wrong. Everyone just seems so “blessed & highly favored” meanwhile your life seems to be cursed & a total mess. 

Yes, life can get messy. We can get messy. When it boils down to it, we’re all these “messy”, unstable, humans with a whole bunch of issues called sin. Than to top it all off, we’re often faced with life situations that just seem to add a whole other pile to our all ready “mess”.. 

But the “mess” is what makes the beauty of our Savior, Christ Jesus, shine so bright.. The fact that you don’t have to have it all figured out.. The fact that you don’t have to know all the answers.. The fact that you don’t have to have a plan A through F. You can trust the Lord. You can rest. You don’t have to perform for God to be accepted by Him. Believe that He is who He says He is & therefore He will do what He says He will do because of who He is.. 

You dealing with some stuff? That’s alright. You and the other 5 billion people on this planet. God sees. He never promised to keep us away from storms & trouble. He promised that He will walk with us through them. You are not alone.
Love yall..

-xo

Learn How To Fight…

brooklyn-street-art-joe-iurato-muhammad-ali-evolve-gallery-webI wish I could say how amazing and awesome this season of life feels and looks, but I would be lying. Yes, I know one day, I’ll be grateful for everything I’m going through because it would of have molded my character, made me more Christlike, and prepared me for my purpose…

Truthfully speaking, the process is painful. When the devil attacks, he goes IN. It hurts. You don’t know whether to laugh or to break down and cry. Back to back you keep getting tested and things are CONSISTENTLY falling apart. Your mind seems to be bombarded by the  voice of demons and the voice of your own hurt who tell you to quit and just give up. It’s the voice that makes you question whether or not God lied when He said in His word that He will never leave nor forsake you. It’s the voice that makes you even question Gods love for you..

I know because I’ve been there. I am there. But it’s in those moments where God, my Father has taught me how to fight. It’s in those moments where God has taught me to STAND on His shoulders when I’m tempted to just climb down, lay down and allow the devil to just have his way. It’s in those moments where I learned how to be a soldier and not just a spectator…

This is a guarantee: You WILL get tested. You will face trial, tribulation and suffering as a Christian. It is a PROMISE

1 Peter 4:12-13 Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy.

Don’t be surprised. Suffering is A PART of this walk. As humans, we HATE suffering (I know I do) , but if we are to conform to Christ, its gonna take some struggle and it’s gonna hurt. This is where “cute christianity” goes out the window and we learn how to truly go to war for our faith. This is where mere sunday services and only praying before meals doesn’t cut it anymore… (and honestly, it never did)

The truth is, you’re going to have great days when your faith is through the roof., when even in the midst of your suffering, you still FEEL awesome. But you may also have days when your faith is hanging by a thread. It’s the ongoing war between what we know to be true through the word of God and how we feel through our emotions…

Suffering trained me to be a prayer warrior. On the days when I wanted to quit and just let satan have his way, prayer was the only weapon that kept me from losing the war. Whatever you do, don’t quit. You’re being sharpened. Your prayer life is being sharpened. You don’t roll over and just lay there. You fight. You pray. You read the word even when you don’t feel like it and it seems to be pointless. Now is the time to skip out on some outings, just to stay home and sit before God. Now is the time to put away every weight and distraction and cling to your faith like never before. Now is the time to learn what it means to be a solider for Christ and not just a spectator that attends church every once in awhile. Now is the time to partake in the same sufferings as our savior, who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross DISREGARDING it’s shame and who is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God…

Take heart. You are not alone. Your emotions are not god. He is faithful despite what you’re going through. Keep fighting by standing on the shoulders of God and keep in mind that this season will not last forever. For us Christians, there is hope and there is eternity with God to look forward to, when we realize that every single thing we ever went through on this earth was more than worth it…

Love y’all! xox

How My Husband Leaving Me, Changed Me….

By: Alicia King   

      
 My husband of 6 years asked me for a divorce on my birthday, February,22, 2015. After 2 years of us battling about his feelings towards me and his need to go else where, he finally asked for out. 

I was broken…
I spent half of my marriage trying to hold it together and it was exhausting. I prayed countless prayers for God to show him how much of a good thing I was. I cried and beg God so many times for him to love me and see me as the caring wife I had tried to be for him. I prayed for him to remember me as the one who supported him through his transition from an engineer to a pastor. I read every book on being a virtuous wife. I read all the books I could on restoration of marriages. I went for Christian counseling both at school and church. I asked God to show me what I needed to learn in this season, and I covered my husband, who was planning on leaving me, in prayer daily…

Fast forward to November, the papers were sitting on my dresser just a week from our daughter’s 4th birthday. I had so many emotions, and I honestly felt like God had let me down. I felt like this was suppose to be our big testimony.. I felt like we would be the ones to tell other married couples our “testimony” and they will come to know God and believe for restoration in their marriages too. I mean, after all, my husband was a Pastor.

Man, I was too wrong…

I had to realize that we can not determine God’s steps, but in order for God to determine ours, we have to be willing to surrender to His. My husband was stuck in his own ways and envisioned something different for his life. I was truly crushed, but I realized for the first time my husband had led me in the arms of God. He led me through his human weaknesses and imperfections. He led me to God through his hurtful words and distant demeanor. He led me to God when he was falling in love with someone else. He made me know for sure that nothing is safe and guaranteed but the love of Jesus. He made me leave his corrupt church and run to a church that showed me principles on how to walk into my purpose in the will of God. His hardened heart taught me to pray in difficulty, and it drove me to serve and surround myself around a body of believers.

During the filing of the divorce my mind was at peace, but my heart still longed to be with him. I battled with resisting sleeping with him in times where I felt I needed his love and attention, even if it was for a moment. I was so insecure, and I did not understand why I was not worth fighting for. During my mourning, I saw my husband at times as the pastor who orchestrated my funeral daily. He removed me from the life that I’ve known and killed all the dreams that I had for us. But GOD…. God will allow old dreams to die to bring forth new ones. I had to learn that prayer does not always change our situation, but it changes you in ways you’ll never imagine. Each day the pain got easier to bear, and I started smiling more and I thanked God that He blessed me with a joy that I can not even understand at times. Sometimes God will leave you out in dark to let you know that He’s the light that never fails. It’s only as time goes on that, that light begins to shine on the things we did not understand. We begin to see that there is always a purpose in God’s plan. Through the fire, God will at times bless you. Joseph in the bible was abandoned by his brothers, lied on, and God promoted him by the favor God has placed on his life. While I was going through the fire and difficulty, God surrounded me with prayer warriors. God got me through school with a degree with honors and awards. God allowed me to be the only student to graduate my year as a certified teacher on my campus. I watched as my other colleagues switched majors after difficulty passing the new teachers’ certification exams. I did not understand it, but now I know that God has a plan for me that far exceeded what I had for myself. He built a new confidence in me, and brought new hopes and dreams to my life again. I may not always get it right and some times I still struggle, but as I continue to grow in my walk, I realize I can not walk this life without God holding my hand.

Those of you who are having crisis in your marriage, this is not for you to lose heart and accept divorce as your end. Continue to hold on and pray and do not grow weary, because you serve a God who has your best interest at heart. For the single ladies, know that your relationship with God is vital in every decision you make. Just because you date a believer, does not necessarily mean you’re equally yoked. Pray about everything! I was only 22 years old when I got married with the rush to cover up our sexual immorality. Know ladies, that the wait outweighs the consequences of stepping outside the will of God. You can not go wrong with trusting God. Galatians 6:9 says “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” We see all through out the bible where the people of God had to wait, and although it’s never easy to wait, one thing is certain, God HONORS it.

Love,
Alicia King ❤️

When God Doesn’t Hear Our Worship…

 

As I walk with the God in this journey of salvation, I’ve experienced countless failures. I face struggles, some easier to overcome than others I’ve made more mistakes than I could possibly count, some out of ignorance and some out of deliberate disobedience, even though I wouldn’t admit it at the time. You know.. those times when you know what the BIBLE says and you hear what the holy-spirit is SAYING yet in those moments you still choose to listen to your flesh. I would feel bad about it every time. I  would feel guilty. I would beat myself up and I would even cry about it but can I be real? The very fact that I felt “bad” and actually cried over”sin” made me feel super spiritual..I mean, hey we live in a world where most people have no regard for God and His word..  I actually feel bad about it. I’m  pretty alright… 

Than God made a few things super clear to me.

God doesn’t want me to JUST feel “bad” and be convicted. He’s looking for me to REPENT. To repent means to change directions. It means taking deliberate ACTION in moving AWAY from the sin that you were once entangled in. It’s deleting phone numbers that connect you to the people that cause you to stumble in your purity. It’s moving out of a girlfriend/boyfriends house. It’s turning away from watching pornography. It’s getting rid of the drugs completely. It’s DOING whatever is necessary while changing your MIND to  go in the direction of holiness and not sin. The whole point of conviction is for it to lead to REPENTANCE.. actual CHANGE. The problem was that I would feel better about my mess because I cried about it but I never really repented of it. I felt spiritual and good about myself because I cried at an altar.. God doesn’t want me to feel bad, God wants me to actually  OBEY…

Malachi 2:13-2:14 (NKJV)

You cover the altar of the Lord with tears,
With weeping and crying;
So He does not regard the offering anymore,
Nor receive it with goodwill from your hands.
14 Yet you say, “For what reason?”
Because the Lord has been witness
Between you and the wife of your youth,
With whom you have dealt treacherously;
Yet she is your companion
And your wife by covenant.

God is basically telling these priests that their offering and worship to the Lord was unacceptable.. but why? How can God disregard their precious tears?

Because they were worshipping God with their mouths but they weren’t worshipping God in their heart and with their ACTIONS in how they treated their wives privately. God is basically saying, “before you cover my alter with tears and offerings, worship me in SPIRIT and in TRUTH by honoring my word in the privacy of your own household. Other people may see your religious activity publically, but I see how you treat your wife privately, and it displeases Me.”

Maybe God is saying the same thing to some of us today. That before we cover our church alter in tears of worship, let us worship Him by repenting of the sin He’s been speaking to us about for months, maybe even years… that before we sing Hillsong’s latest hits in worship to God,  forgive that person who hurt us and who we still harbor hate in our hearts for.. that before we jump and scream in worship to God, let go of those things that are driving a clear wedge between you and the Lord.  God isn’t just searching for tears… He’s searching for obedience..

We are all in the process of growing. None of us, no matter how saved and sanctified we think we are, have “arrived”. We ALL have sin still lurking in our heart. Please do not get it  misconstrued and think that this message is about being PERFECT before you’re worthy enough to WORSHIP God. If that was the case, NONE of us would be qualified. For many of us, God has been speaking to us about the SAME thing over and over again and we ignore Him in complete disobedience. Sometimes we think we’re being “spiritual” when we’re really just being “stagnant”. Gods main concern is not our worship but the HEART behind our worship. In Isaiah 1, God speaks about actually being DISGUSTED by the worship of His people at that time. They were having all of these ceremonies, rituals, celebrations, offerings and all that good stuff, but their heart and their actions were totally wicked. God basically said, ” I would rather you not do or say anything AT all than for you to put on show because your worship isn’t genuine”. .. (Read it for yourself)

We’ve bought into this idea that worship is all about just singing and dancing in a Sunday service. I believe that worship doesn’t start on Sundays when the choir rises to sing it’s first song. but it starts throughout the week.. It starts privately. It starts in our heart. It’s not about being PERFECT by any means.. but God is a GOD who looks at the HEART and not just the religious action. Before we lift up our hands, let us lift up our HEARTS and be willing to worship Him in spirit and in TRUTH..giving up whatever He’s telling us to give up and showing how much we TRULY love Him by obeying His commandments through His grace and with His help…

love yall! xox

Saved And Broken Hearted..

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On social media, everything looks wonderful. There are the seemingly perfect courtships that end in marriage and the heartfelt captions on how God finally blessed them with “the one”. We see the beautiful journey of courtship followed by the grand proposal, the wedding photos and the instagram announcement that they’re pregnant. It all just seems so perfect…

And then there are the things that we don’t see. The things that we rarely if ever talk about, maybe because, to us, its not “pretty” enough; maybe because it’s not the perfect Christian fairytale that others seem to have. What we don’t see is the courtships that fail and the times when we genuinely believe that God told us a person is “the one” only for the relationship to go down in flames.. What we don’t talk about is how to get through a heartbreak as a Christian..

Every courtship doesn’t end in marriage. The whole point is to “court” with the INTENTION of marrying and to PREPARE for marriage but it is not marriage itself and the truth is sometimes it just won’t work out. Far too often, we do too much too soon. We treat someone who we’re COURTING as though they’re ALREADY our husband/wife. We’re already proclaiming to the world that they’re our “rib” or our “king”, when the truth is, we”re not his “rib” until we’re officially his wife under God and he isn’t our “covering” until he is officially our HUSBAND. Until then, God still recognizes us as two separate individuals. Again, we do too much too soon and so the “breakup” feels like a divorce because we acted like we were married simply because we felt like we “heard” God say that they were “the one”..

And then it all falls apart. Now what? We’re beyond disappointed. We’re confused. We’re hurt and God forbid y’all go to the same church and have to constantly see each other. How do you maneuver? How do you heal? How do you get through? Here’s some of the things Gods shown me through my own mess.


1) While we see it as a bad breakup and a heartbreak, God sees it as an opportunity to transform our heart… Understand the sovereignty of God. ANYTHING we go through is because God ALLOWED it to happen and if He ALLOWED it, then it must have a PURPOSE behind it. God is not sloppy. He knows every single detail of our life and He knows EXACTLY what gets some of our attention. I cannot begin to tell you the things that God has revealed to me about ME through my last breakup and how much He’s taught me. Understand that God’s ultimate goal is to bring glory to Himself and to make us more and more like Him and two of the things He uses is pain and suffering. Some of my greatest times of GROWTH have been through my greatest times of GREIF. It’s bigger than a breakup. God is doing something in your heart and it goes far beyond just you and your boo breaking up..

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.-Isaiah 55:8

2) God is practical. Stop stalking your ex.
I would beg God to help me move on ; to help me move forward and to heal me. God responded by giving me clear instruction. STOP stalking him. Stop looking on his instagram page to see what he’s posting, to see what girls are commenting under his pictures and than clicking on her profile to see who she is. Stop stalking their tweets and trying to figure out if they’re secretly tweeting about you. Just stop. unfollow. block. do what you have to do but stalking will keep you stuck and on an emotional roller coaster. You’re making him an idol and you’re asking God to heal a wound while simultaneously picking at it. I had to be painfully blunt with myself and realize this: What my ex is doing and who he’s doing it with is none of my business. That chapter is closed. The same goes for you love. He doesn’t owe you anything. He’s no longer in your life right now for a reason. Let it go.

3) Let go of what was “suppose to be”.

Yes, you guys were “supposed” to get married. Yes, you guys were “supposed” to do ministry together. Yes, you guys had all of these plans but you can’t stay stuck on what was “supposed to be” and neglect the reality of what IS and the reality IS that it’s over. The door is closed and know that if it was a door that God still wanted OPEN, He would of opened it. This is where discipline comes into place..(casting down vain imaginations and every high things that exhalts itself against the knowledge of Christ. 2corinth 10:5).. in other words, when those thoughts of what was “supposed to be” pop up in your head, be INTENTIONAL about choosing to think on moving forward in Christ and trusting Him when it comes to your future.

4) Forgive your ex.

Regardless of the reason WHY you guys broke up, you need to forgive your ex. Yes, even if he cheated, lied, manipulated, whatever. God’s call for us to FORGIVE is not limited to everyone else but “them”..It’s hard, I know, but if God commanded it, than God will give us the grace to keep that commandment. Let go of the bitterness. Let go of the desire to make them jealous. Let go of the desire to see them miserable. Let it go. Forgive them. Do not allow bitterness to take root in your heart because you will infect the people around you. It will infect your ministry. It will infect your relationship with Christ. You must forgive him or her regardless of what they’ve done to you.

And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”-Mark 11:25

5) Heal.

Do not jump into the arms of another man/woman to make you feel better about yourself. When we’re hurt and in pain, we’re not thinking straight. We’re drunk off of hurt. You see ANYBODY as a “potential” at this point because you’re lonely and vulnerable.This is the PERFECT opportunity for the devil to send people your way to fake full advantage of your moment of weakness. I heard someone say ” the wrong person during a lonely season can cause you to think that they’re the one”.One thing that I loved as a result of my last breakup is that God truly became my BEST FRIEND. I clung to Him like crazy! why? because He was the only one that could truly get me through and honestly the “girl you’re gonna be okay” texts just weren’t enough. Though they helped, I was deeply hurt and needed GOD. I was praying several times a day to keep myself from crying and being an emotional wreck. Through that season I truly came to know God as a comforter, as a healer, as keeper and not just from what I read in some bible verses but from what I went through in real life and seeing how much He held me down every single step of the way and never left my side. It was hard, but He got me through it. Don’t take the easy way out and just go find some cutie to fill that void with. There are no shortcuts. Go deep with God. Allow Him to dig up the mess that’s in your heart. Don’t just try to use people as band-aids when God wants to perform heart surgery.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.-Psalms 147:3

Understand that this is so much bigger than just a breakup. It’s just a TOOL that God is using to get to your heart; to mould your character, to teach you about Himself, to teach you about forgiveness, to teach you patience. God’s focus is on something so much bigger. It’s on eternity. It’s on the cross. It’s on His children being pruned and sculpted to look more and more like His Son and sometimes it takes something like a painful breakup to get us to that pliable, vulnerable place where God wants us to be so that we’re now able to hear His voice and be open to His leading. God usually breaks before He builds. Don’t despise this heartbreak.. God is building something. Stick with Him through this process love! xox

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.-1 Peter 5:10

Join the “Pray For Our Boys ” Prayer Challenge!!!!

“Pray For Our Boys” Prayer Challenge!!

So excited for this! So I was inspired to come up w/this “challenge” based on conversations I’ve had in the past.. It’s super easy to be critical towards men & complain but what would happen if instead, we bombarded the gates of heaven on their behalf?.. Alot of our brothers are struggling with things that we have no clue about and we need to remember that they are our BROTHERS before anything else.. So the “challenge” is for the next 30 days to

1) Either choose 1 male to pray for over the course of 30 days. It can be ANYONE. Your professor. The garbage man. Your pastor. Your father. Your uncle. ANYONE

2) or choose a different man to pray for every day.. This isn’t about us, this is simply about interceding and HELPING them! Love yall!!

(The challenge starts tomorrow 7/28 – 8/26 )